THB Sales Magazine 46 The (very) Dark Arts Issue pt.2/2

Morning Ladies. How are we all doing? As I write this, I’m gurning manically with joy. It's pissing down with snow, and this makes me happy. This year, I think, possibly for the first time, I’m actually not bothered by the cold. It’s been a good summer, and therefore I’m happy to embrace what winter (as we still have one here) has to throw my way. It’s time for Spätzle, Beef Stroganoff, and a good bottle of Burgundy. Delicious.

Tomorrow I’m off to meet up with my very good Dutch friend Hugo for his book signing. “The Broken Traveler"—I know it’s been a labour of love and taken a lot of sweat. But hey, Hugo’s here! One of the very few guys I know, that if he had the misfortune to fall into a snake pit, he would be out ten minutes later with a new pair of cowboy boots. I am deeply looking forward to having a glass or five, downing a dozen oysters, and getting a signed copy from the very man himself.

Work is having its ups and downs this week, "but persist, I shall". THB

• News: Sales jobs 2023, Tesla in Cold Water

• Learn: The Gatekeeper (Not coming to a cinema near you I hope!)

• Tools: If I could have One Office Chair this would be it

• Telesales Jobs: This weeks Runners and Riders

• Blow it all: Massage chairs, C;…Wokka…Wokka…Wokka…?

The Money is out There.

Swedish Postal Workers say “Meatballs” to Tesla…

"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work." - Robert Orben

So the gatekeeper, then... The number one public enemy of any person from anywhere, in any country, who wants something from anyone but her (or him)—you see, it does not matter who you are; we are all fair game on the switchboard. Shot on sight, with a well-placed “May I ask what's the call regarding?” or the timeless “let me give you his or her PA’s email address. Or the classic, “Have you spoken with him before?" And the downright dirty punch beneath the belt: “He does not take calls." No problem!.

Here we go. Mix and match for best results. 5mins.

Now before we start . A couple of things. Highlighted is what you have to say. Below is an example only. Chop and change to suit your own needs. This takes practice, that will serve you well when learnt. I make no apologies for gifting you a slice of how “real world” sales work, on the phone.

It’s all about confidence, delivery (tonality), and empathy. The switch board (SB) is not your enemy; they just want to feel loved, that’s all. So show them some...

(1) "Hi, this is X, CMO at X." Most SBs say their names when answering the phone. So start by saying (2), “Hi SB name, how you doing? You sound busy!” and wait. (A little banter does not hurt, but always keep the tonality at a distinguished level.) If no name is given, feign confusion and say, “Hi, I’m sorry. Who am I speaking with?” (You and I both know it's the SB.) You should now get the SB's first name.

When you do get your answer, say, “Ahh! (and mean it), say (1,2), and add, “I don’t fancy being in your shoes today, switchboard lighting up like a Christmas tree today?"(Laughingly)

(SB name), "I’m after X” (use only the forename). Pause and then say his surname. Now repeat your name (1) (to reinforce your standing), but not too fast. As soon as you’ve done that, say, "Thanks, SB name; you have a nice day.”

SB name “What’s the call regarding?" Say, for example, "a bankrupt customer who's a competitor." Pause. This might be enough to get you through, but then (SB name) might say, “I’m sorry, what?” Answer by coughing: (3) “A bankrupt customer who's a competitor, sorry, {SB} name, he’ll know.” “Many thanks."

SB name “Has he spoken with you before?” You “no” (slightly agitated), “I’m calling in on behalf of my (work colleague name - use any name) (say this part softer), who’s been dealing with this. (Say this part slightly louder.) (work colleague name) who, like me shortly is off sick this week. Which is the reason why I'm calling in for X (first name only). Thank you, SB name.”

SB name “Have you emailed him?” You “I’d be very surprised and angry if (name of person off ill) had not quite frankly.”

You “(name of person off ill) would never have asked me to call X otherwise. Now. (Slightly louder) “If you could please announce my call (SB name) and tell X it’s (1) on the phone for him, thanks, SB name.” Now wait.

Now, just before “SB name” does this, you may want to add “SB name” just before you do put me through, what’s X’s extension, and I'll let (name of person off ill) know for next time.

Keep that ext. number written down (X could go to voicemail). If it is voicemail, do not leave a message. But do write down any cell (mobile) numbers, etc. Some telephone systems allow you to replace the HQ number with the last 3 or 4 digits, which enables you to direct dial. If you have “X’s” mobile number, then well done. This is worth its weight in gold. Particularly so, that since post-COVID, a lot of senior employees work from home.

Now, obviously, there is a fine line between telling the truth and lying. By twisting the narrative slightly, if you do get asked by “X” that yes, (Ill colleague) was trying to get hold of him, and also email in (which she did not have, which is why she called in), and yes, this is about (3).

It’s very rare to get cross-checked, but at least now you know what to say.

Everybody but everybody has to sell “something” over the phone. If you give up easily, it’s probably a good idea to get someone else to do it for you.

Now. See last week's (Issue 45) of THB newsletter on how to take control of the first 30 seconds of the call with the head honcho. Sign up here for free to read it.

Having the right type of office chair is a must. Me personally I’d settle for one of these office chairs any day. It just looks sooo comfy.

Monster not so much a job. But worth a read.

Super Yachts. This is both a F2Face and telephone based. It’s a dream job for someone!

Massage those all night 24 hour work benders away.

Games. And if I could have a arcade table top please next to my massage chair, that would be winning.

Ok. Let’s get on with it, see you all next Wednesday. If you’re just starting out in sales or need a refresh, do take the time to read my previous newsletters. I promise they will make you a better communicator. Get into the spirit of goodwill and share my newsletter link with someone who needs it. It’s free, costs you nothing, and will make you feel good. Peace. THB

KFC and the Home Fuckin’

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. (AP) — It ain’t the Olympics, but a group of Floridians plan to host competitions themed according to the collective antics of the beer-loving, gator-possessing, rap-sheet heavy, mullet-wearing social media phenomenon known as “Florida Man.”

Organizers of the “Florida Man Games” describe the competition as “the most insane athletic showdown on Earth.” The games will poke fun at Florida’s reputation for producing strange news stories involving guns, drugs, booze and reptiles — or some combination of the four.

Thanks (most deservedly) must go to TS my mullet haired inbred homie from Ohio !

Sausage Vending Machines Booming in Germany. Only in Germany. Count me in! This obviously get added

Cameras Out. Potato photo by Irish photographer sold for $1 million

“Be the balls you want to see in your face!” Unknown